I have been overweight all of my life, even though I was not a fat baby and for the first four years of my life, I was not a fat child. I have seen the pictures of myself so I do know this to be true. This is not your typical story about being overweight, it is a story about understand what our weight issues are so that in time you can release the weight if that is your goal. For many that may not be their goal and that is just fine. But, for me it is not so much about releasing the weight as the goal but about beginning forth the best vehicle for the Divine to dwell in. I know that the Divine dwells in all of us because it wants to experience many many things. Since I know that I am the co-creator in my life, I have decided what kind of vehicle I want the Divine to experience with me. I also understand that you can not control your Destiny. It is pretty much set when you come to earth. So whatever you came here to learn, you are going to learn it. But, you can control the path you take to get the lessons. They say all paths lead to the same point, the same Destiny. So I want to create a path of freedom and exploration, one that is kind to others, loving and has an expression of the Divine, with my limited knowledge of what the Divine is. The Divine is so vast and all consuming that they really is no way to know all there is to know about the Divine and the Universe.
Over the years, I have tried to release the weight, I of course would lose some gain some and it was a never ending story for me. I never understood that I needed to first understand why I was over weight, what was the root cause. Maybe in understanding that I could heal on that level and begin to change my life for the better if there was such a thing as changing for the better. I see many people now who love themselves as they are and have no desire to lose weight. They are big and sexy and happy. Happiness is the bottom line, if you are happy with yourself then that is the big point and frankly the only point although we do need to be healthy. Now if you can manage to get health and love yourself as a big person more power to you.
Sometimes, I have to go outside of myself to be able to get inside of myself. I have to ask the Universe for help and wait for the help to arrive as it always does. Sometimes you just have to wait.
Back in 2009, I started participating in a program called the Brain Balancing Program. You use sacred geometry to increase the neurons so that you end up with one functioning brain instead of two lobes. I know this may sound a little strange to many of you but just go with it. I need you to think outside the box and if you have been following this blog, you should have been able to tell by now that I think outside the box. I actually live outside the box and I make no apologies for it. LOL.
I have been on the program for 6 years now, I do have one complete brain based on the test. It is not apparent to any one else because it takes years for it to incorporate but, I am different inside and I know it. It does not matter to me what others think because I know that I am different. My thought processes are different and because of that, I have a new found confidence that I never had before. This gave me the courage to evaluate myself and my life and begin to make the changes that I had so desparately wanted to make.
I went back to school because, I knew I need to do something else and I need more information. As it turned out there was a school right around the corner from my house and it was the perfect place for me to find more of myself. The Southwest Institute of Healing Arts was the name of the school or more affectionately called SWIHA. Not your typical school at all and there are not very many schools like it if any. I was one of the fortunate ones to go to this school.
SWIHA is a school of occupational therapy. They teach Massage and Yoga and Hypnotherapy. You can learn energy work like Polarity Therapy, Cranial Sacral Therapy and Reiki. You can participate in Herbal Programs and Nutrition. So much learning and healing and growing, in a setting with like minded people. Mostly, Hippies like me!!! So the brain balancing was changing me and now I was in a school whose mere vibration was changing me not to mention that I was in the Polarity Therapy and Cranial Sacral Therapy program which was shaking me down to my core. My experiences were uncontrollable on so many levels and so healing and insightful. Here is the core of what I learned about myself from all the work I did at SWIHA, though trance work, energy work, brain balancing, meditation, walking and so much more. I knew that when I was four years old, I contracted the german measles. It was really bad and the doctors were not hopeful. I was very small and they told my Mom, that I need to gain weight. What was locked away at the time in my subconscious was the knowledge that I did not want to be on the earth at this time. I wanted to die and leave, I never wanted to come back. My guides told me that I came back because I had a lot of work to do for mankind. And I could not leave, I had to stay here. So I had to figure out how I was going to stay here since I did not want to be here on earth. Since the doctor told my Mom, that I need to get fatter to live. She began pumping me with lots of vitamins and food to fatten me up. I in my 4 year old wisdom thought that if I get fat, people would not recognize me and would not bother me. The reason I wanted to be invisible was because in most lifetimes of coming to the earth, I always either got murder or committed suicide. I was a healer for many lifetimes and there were many places that I lived that healers were consider witches and the like and they would end up killing me. I had one vision where I committed suicide because of too much responsibility to my village.
Most of this information trickle in to my consciousness at moments when my subconscious would release it. I am sure it happen because of many years of meditation. I remember meditating about ten years ago, when I saw the whole suicide saga. It was a powerful cleansing meditation and I was chanting to the Mother Auset as I asked for healing. This is what came up and I was ever so grateful.
At SWIHA doing a polarity trance class, other information revealed itself. I told myself that I had to eat to stay alive and I focus on this with such intensity that I internalized this reality and it became apart of me. This was the program that I fed my subconscious about eating to stay alive. And by overeating, I broke my sacred contract that I made before I came back this time and changed how I looked and became overweight.
So in my class all of this information was revealed to me. I realized that I had been hiding behind the weight thinking that it keep me safe and hidden from most people. This really was silly because if you knew me, I am notice by everybody, I have that kind of personality. This was mind blowing for me. And so so healing because I realized that I no longer need the weight and that I could release it and be fine. So I set out to do just that. Now I won't say that this part of the journey has been easy. It takes much disciple and focus but I have so far released over 60 pounds with still more to go.
I guess my point to all of this is that we do co-create our reality. And it happens through our thought processes. So it is important to think only the things that you want to manifest. And if you want to change things or remove things from your subconscious it can be done. But, it takes a lot of work to do so. Many people will not participate in the activities that I have. Most people don't even know what to do. That is why I write these blogs to give you some idea about my life and the way I move forth in the Universe. I am not afraid to try new things. I have an end game in mind for myself. I don't do drugs, I don't drink. I don't eat harmful food, I eat mostly organic food, I practice my breathing, do chi gong, yoga, meditation, visualization, focus and anything else that will help me raise my vibration. The more I raise my vibration, the more change I can affect on this planet. Come up with a plan to be a solution to the problems on this planet and then work your plan.
In La'Kesh, (I am another yourself) Peace, Love and High Vibrations