"There is no Passion to be found PLAYING SMALL, in settling for a LIFE that is less than the one you are capable of Living.....
Red Solar Dragon, Nelson Mandala


Sunday, April 6, 2014

The End Game

One of my friends posted the other day on her facebook page the following post.  When I see post that speak to me, I sometimes will re post them here and add my thoughts about it.  But, first here is what she had to say, "I have been pondering "rejection" lately...and the collapse of marriages, relationships, etc, because I witness this often while working with clients, hearing about a friend's life and at times my own. My feeling is, even though the one who is rejected feels pain or suffers, the story is really about the one who is rejecting...you are just someone experiencing their shift with them. So, how do we then get through the experiences, heal and move on? First and foremost, by allowing grief to express itself. When you love someone you will be sad because you will miss them, feel an empty pocket in your life, and reminisce about all the good times and joy that you hoped would last forever. And when you are ready, thank them for choosing to reject you. Why? As strange as this might sound, it shows that they love you and that you love them; it shows on some deep level our souls have come together for us to learn lessons..."thank you for allowing me to serve you so that you may learn whatever it is you need to learn. And thank you for teaching me that your action, perceived as rejection, is an illusion...your action is just you trying to figure out who you are, what you value, what your opportunities are for personal growth and what it means to love and be loved." My reaction provides me with information on my beliefs, some of which might need altering. Maybe it is to see how unconditionally I am able to love others or myself. Maybe it is to help me stop doubting my own magnificence and provide an opportunity for me to realize, regardless of another's actions, rejection does not mean I am not good enough. Yes I might be sad, yes I may not be ready for that chapter in my life to close (and it might not be closing), but above all, I must
must not allow any action to divert me from the truth that I am awesome,and a beautiful, loving and lovable reflection of the Divine. Does meditation and mind control help us during these times? Does Reiki help? Does Yoga help? Yes. It all helps. Sending LOVE and a virtual warm embrace out to those who may be suffering. I dedicate today and my yoga practice to you and your peace."

I, like everyone else have felt rejected in relationships.  In fact, I have not actually had a lot of relationships in my life because the few relationships that I have been in lasted for many years.  Now that I am older and have reflected on my life and my loves and my relationships,  I have come to realize that these relationships were not rejections at all but just the End Game.  One of the ideas that people have in this world is that you come together to be together forever.  What a bunch of nonsense.  It really set you up for failure or seeing yourself as failing when things don't work out as you think they should.  I don't believe that anymore.   I remember being at a friend wedding and my girlfriend the bride said that she could not imagine being married to the same person for the rest of her life.  This was in her hand written vows and I thought WOW, how could she say such a thing. We have been conditioned to belief that until death do us part.  This is a pretty narrow viewpoint, in my opinion. 

Before we incarnate, we come to earth with a group of souls who we decided to incarnate with.  It is decided then that we will bring certain awareness to each other lives.  This is called your soul group.  So everybody that you meet with whom you make a connection, comes to teach you a thing or two and you come to teach them a thing or two.  Most often when the lessons of these relationship have been learned, the Universe separates you and you go your separate ways.  Many times you may be together for a lifetime.  I do have friends that have been my friends for 30 years or more and we have been through a lot and survived and I have friends that have only lasted for months.

Many intimate relationships don't always last and often for most of us we become devastated because we wanted the relationship to last forever.  Some relationship do last forever but many of them do not.  I don't think you are being rejected,  you got what you needed and then you need to move on. For those who find that mate they are able to be with through all eternity good for them.  Are they really happy and satisfied or do they stay together because of children and responsibility?  No one but them really know.  I am writing this not because I want your relationship to end but because I want to plant another way of thinking.  We are so hard on ourselves and beat ourselves up badly.  We need to look at things differently and with a more positive outlook.  A God inspired outlook.  Everybody is a representation of the Divine.  And they are living out their lives manifesting their aspect of the Divine.  The energy of God is not just positive, it is vibrational all spectrums.

I have learnt so much from the break up of my marriage of 23 years.  I am so glad that it is over not because I stop loving him or he stopped loving me but because I finally start loving me and understand more of who I am.  We really reached the End Game in our relationship and there was no place to go as a couple. I say it coming long before it actually manifested.  I could not stop it even though I did try.  I also realize that to stop it meant that I could not grow and move forward and I was not willing to do that.   Did it hurt yes, very much.  Did I  feel rejected, I thought so at first but it took years to understand that no I was not.  Do we still love each other yes, and we are still friends. But, one of the things I discovered is that I had rejected myself and when I started viewing my life in a different way, it changed the dynamics of our relationship.  A very hard lesson to learn but I had to learn it.  Now my life is moving forward with the understanding of what it takes for me to just be.  I am clear about how I want to live my life and it is fabulous.  So often we don't ever discover these thing about ourselves and feel that we have to be with someone for our life to be fulfilled.  So when they move on we feel rejected, not good enough, sad and angry instead of seeing what they brought to our live and how we have become a better person from our interaction with them.  At the very least they teach you want you don't want in your life and sometimes we need to know that also.

Well, these are just my thoughts and this is working for me.  It might not work for you but then you certainly have the opportunity to find out what does work for you and isn't that one of the reason we are here?

In Lak'esh, I am another yourself.  Peace, Love and Discovery

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