It's like swimming across a river
with our eyes closed, this passage
through the center of life.
Sometimes we have to navigate
from the inside out~
when the stars hide their light
when we can not see the bank
on the other side, when the hounds
of our past bark on the shoreline
braying their mournful song of our leaving.
It is a stillness like the heart of the fire that guides
--the voice of some angel of mercy
who have been sending us missives
and when we look over one shoulder~
it is the fierce tiger of truth who howls,
YOU CAN NOT GO BACK THAT PLACE IS GONE NOW.
And for a moment we freeze in the river
sure we will drown, forgetting which way
is up and down and forward and back,
as the road of the tumbling currents
pour through us with all the questions
that we refuse to leave alone,
and visions of the many roads
bursting into flames behind us.
And then something remembers itself
lifts our shoulders above the swirling cauldon
of in between and we simply let go
of making our way, we let go of decisions,
and the tangle paradoxes flow on through
the river's body, drawing us to the edge
of this new world that calls us to our knees
to give thanks for this fertile soil
seeded with dreams,
thirsty for our arrival.
~~ Laura Weaver
My Beloved friends, I have sit down to write in this blog for the last two months and it would not let me. I have been on a journey for the past five years and the end of that journey has come as a new one is in its infancy. The above poem, expresses so much of what I wanted to say but could not find the words to say it to you. My dear friend Frannie, sent me this poem and I then realize that these are the words that the Universe has given me to express my true feelings. I love my work and I love my life even though so much of it is a mystery to me it does bring excitment. When I am able to let go and allow, so much beauty comes forth.
The past 5 months felt like I was truly walking through hell. The fire was so close to burning me in to obliveration, I wondered many times if I would ever make it out to the other side unscorch. I kept thinking when you are in the fire, don't stop just keep going. I wanted to die, I did not want to keep going, I did not want to exist any longer. But, I fought for my survival everyday and in everyway. This year for me has been a Blue Resonant Storm year according to the Mayan Calendar Oracle System. I had been in other Blue Storm years but did not know them as such and was not sure what this one would bring as it was the culmination of the life I had lived up to this point. It was time to birth a new life, and this year was giving birth to this life. Even though I have no children, I have given birth and it is no small thing. I know that this year has been the most profound year of any of my 57 years. It is one that I will always remember with fondness for I have learnt about myself in ways that I can not explain to you now. There are attributes that are in there beginning stages that will manifest themselves in time to those of you who will need them. I stand firm in greeting my new self each day and orchestrating my day, my month and my years to come. I have left the desert all that I did not need for it will be purified and transmutted. The desert is the place where you are reborn from the ashes as the Phoenix. I believe that because I have always wanted to live an extraordinary life, that so much of what it takes to live this way could not come forth until I released the old ways of thinking and responding to different situations. And I am still growing into my new self.
So I have come back home to DC, to my family and friends and just as nothing here is the same as the city itself has been quite transformed. I too have been transformed and did not bring back any parts of the old me. I am so grateful for this time to reflect on what it is that the Universe is asking of me and how do I deliver it.
I need to Thank you all for coming to this blog and sharing it with me. Your interest has been my inspiration.
Your views has been many and we have crossed over the 10,000 mark for a blog of less then three years. This is not a small thing to me. I have a lot more to share and I look forward to your comments. Please feel free to share yourself with me as we pioneer this new world and our new existence in it.
In La'Kesh, I am another Yourself, Peace, Love and Blessings