"There is no Passion to be found PLAYING SMALL, in settling for a LIFE that is less than the one you are capable of Living.....
Red Solar Dragon, Nelson Mandala

Monday, July 18, 2011

Simply Being

She who knows men is clever;
She who knows herself  has insight.
She who conquers men has force;
She who conquers herself is truly strong.
She who knows when she has got enough is rich....
And she who dies but perishes not enjoy real longevity.

The principles of non violent, nondoing, mindful therapy are fundamental.  If the therapist lives and breathes them, techniques evolve naturally as the process goes along.  If the therapist is not grounded personally and professionally in the principles, the techniques simply will not work.  The therapist  is her own best instrument.

"When a superior woman hears of the Tao,
she immediately begins to embody it.
She doesn't think about her actions; 
they flow from the core of her being. "

One of the reasons the therapist is able to accept us in our world, is that she herself enjoys and is nourished by the world as it is.  She is rich.  She realizes that she has enough, and embodies that realization.  She lives this affirmation of trust, which is what gives her work integrity.

The sage knows without going about,
Understands without seeing (Chan, 47)

Being content with what she has means she is at peace with her own limitations.  She can stay in the center. She is no longer controlled by threats in the form of demands to make people happy and to meet their expectations.  She is not governed by the need to control, to be liked, or to validate a client's feelings in an attempt to validate her own.

Although there is a great deal that she does not know and cannot do, she can still be a person of wisdom and true power.  We feel, therefore, that we can trust her with ourselves.  As clients, we do not have to defend ourselves against her or take care of her.  She can yield, making room for us to grow.

Notice that none of this has to do with the therapist trying to attain illusory standards of perfect.  She is trustworthy, not because she is superior to us, but precisely because she has made peace with her ambiguities and yearning which make her like us.  Because she realizes that life is bountiful and graceful with her, as she is, she can often be more gentle with us than we can be with ourselves.  In addition, she allows herself to grow and learn more about the ways of peace and trust through being instructed by us in our process as we grow.

Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.  
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.
(Mitchell, 44)

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