"There is no Passion to be found PLAYING SMALL, in settling for a LIFE that is less than the one you are capable of Living.....
Red Solar Dragon, Nelson Mandala

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


"Ever desireless, one can see the mystery.
"Ever desiring, one sees the manifestations."

To enter into the mystery where learning can occur, both desire and control must be relinquished.  The desire to be right must give way to openness and receptivity to that which is.  Not needing to make things happen, one understands deeply.  Needing to make things happen, one learns about practical matters.  Core and surface are parts of the same whole.  IT IS IN BEING OPEN AND INNOCENT THAT THE POSSIBILITY OF UNDERSTANDING ARISES.

An impulse to eat when we are not hungry does not need to be conquered or controlled.  If we simply become curious about it and pay it friendly attention, it can become a vehicle for self-exploration.  
She had such an impulse. We are not in a linear discussion leading deeper into the process of therapy.  It is more like a simple therapeutic process, which we are examining through different facets of the Tao-te ching.  As it is illuminated from a number of perspectives, we gain a greater sense of its unity, and its integration with the larger Tao of life.

She was encouraged to explore her eating impulse.  She experimented by slowly reaching out as though to take food, and then deliberately holding her arms back. As she did this she paid attention to everything that happened--what feelings, sensations, words, thoughts, memories, and impulses spontaneously arose.  By doing this she entered into the mystery of her experience and simply followed wherever it led.  She was not controlling, producing, or forcing something to happen.  She was just being a witness, as though standing by a pond and watching the ripples caused by a fish breaking the surface.  

The jumping fish  is the thought of reaching.  The pond is her conscious awareness.  The ripples are whatever happen in relation to the thought experiment.  The witness is that part of her and us that can stand back and notice what is going on internally, without being unconsciously caught up in it.  Mechanically reaching for food and eating is qualitatively different from observing, studying, and exploring the impulse to reach.  The ability to reflect on our actions is something we as human being can do that machines cannot.

As she undertook this conscious, reflective exploring in relation to her reaching impulse, a sense of urgency emerged into her consciousness.  The urgency became a new mystery for her.  She explored the quality of this urgency through noticing things like how it registered in her body and what feelings attended it, and the awareness dawned that she felt the need to shore up her sense of strength.  Strength for what? she wondered.  For meeting the expectations of the next situation, her consciousness responded.  Then she began to understand what had been driving her.  She habitually and automatically mobilized herself around a need to meet the expectations of others.  Realizing that made her feel sad.  When she investigated this sadness she discovered that part of herself  which believed that she was not acceptable to others unless she went along with what they wanted.  This belief had been organizing her experience to produce the impulse to eat and the other things she had become aware of.  When she simply paid attention to the experience, without trying to CHANGE IT OR CONTROL IT through analyzing or categorizing, she was able to LEARN from it.  She discovered that what was taking place both on the surface and deep within were connected.

This practice is a practice I discovered a few months ago and I have incorporated it in my life.  I encourage you to use this as a tool in your life.  The passage of information come from the book "Grace Unfolding", it is one of the most exceptional book I have read to date that help me understand how I do the things that I do.


  1. I think that now I can post cuz I have gmail acct.

  2. What I really wanted to say is when I first read this weeks ago I wanted to cry because I can relate. You rock Rasheka