"There is no Passion to be found PLAYING SMALL, in settling for a LIFE that is less than the one you are capable of Living.....
Red Solar Dragon, Nelson Mandala

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Being and Becoming

I stand at the precipice of Being and Becoming.  It is an awesome experience and position to be in my life.  I have learnt a great many things and yet deep within
that knowingness, I realize that there is still much much more I need to know and experience.  I am a women
 and while I appreciate the opportunity to be a women, I realize that I still do not know what it is to manifest the primal femininity.  What does that mean exactly? I am the Divine. There are two distinct energies that flow through me. Female and Male.  Those expressions are everywhere and in every thing that we do.  This morning, I was sitting and searching for the presence of  the Microcosmic orbit in my body and I felt the most peacefulness within myself more than  I had ever experienced before.  This meditation was not one where I zone out and go somewhere else, it was actually just to be with myself and to feel the energy moving inside of me.  As I tuned in and listen, I notice that the yang energy coming up my spine known as the Governing Energy was pulsating at a particular beat of expression while the yin energy known as the Functioning Energy was very soft and deep within.  

I begin to think about this energy in the Universe and how it expresses itself.  My mind began to flash back to a radio program I recently listen to with Wayne B. Chandler. He was being interviewed and he spoke about the time when over 8 million women were killed in an attempt to change the dynamics on this planet.  It is when we went from being a matriarchal environment to patriarchal  environment.  Now as I have learnt and know  nothing in the universe stays the same.  Everything is always in flux.  So we will never be able to stay matriarchal or patriarchal.  One polarity  will always be on top and  it will always change which polarity is on top, sort to speak.  But, that is not my conversation today.  My conversation is about becoming the Primal feminine energy.  Chandler eluded that because the women were persecuted and killed diminished the female  population leaving us in a state of scarcity.  All of the teachers and healers and priestess were obviated.  The feminine went underground.  The knowledge and wisdom of the teachings were lost forever or at least it was the hopes of the executioners.  It is true for many women who were not invested in the education of the feminine that they could not  teach the young women how to manifest this energy in their beings.  The only expression of being a women that the early church wanted express was for women to give birth.  It became our only occupation.  Now hear me when I say, the ability to give birth to new life is the most important thing a women can do in life, it is not the only thing.  To me it is development of the feminine aspect of the Divine that manifest the Universe.  This is the part of myself that I am seeking and Becoming. The deep primal energy that dwells within my being is the energy I want and will come face to face with.  This is my goal and my direction in life.  What is it exactly?  Well it is hard to articulate at the moment. 
 I myself am in gestation of it; however,  I need to balance out all the elements in my body.  Fire, Water, Ether, Air and Earth.  There are many books out there to teach you how to do this.  I don't have any idea how long this will take but time is irrelevant to me. It is always about the journey not the destination.  Then I will begin to master each element.  There are also books out there to help you with that.  With this said, I will continue to explore myself.  Cultivating my relationship with my internal Universe and unlocking  parts of my brain that hold all of the secrets of the Universe.  Yes, inside of you dwells all the information that you could ever possible want to know and so much more then you may ever know but it certainly can be a joyous ride finding out who you are Becoming.  Inlakesh, I am another yourself.

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